Three Strikes and You’re Out!

Many things can happen on a first date, but three things you don’t want that could lead to refusing a second date are: learning about his unhealthy dining practices or his questionable hobbies and meeting his family.

Civilized eating habits are invaluable when it comes to successful first impressions. Learning about your date’s eating habits by meeting his tapeworm could lead to an aborted evening. Learning its name should not make you feel more at ease with the situation.

Sharing some form of entertainment on a first date is a normal activity. However, when opting to see a movie staying in to watch his “amateur” videos on YouTube can be awkward. Sometimes taking charge of the night’s entertainment is beneficial.

The prospect of meeting his family can add undue pressure to a first date. Visiting the family pig farm to help look for Uncle Fester’s missing glass eye may not encourage a second date. Care should be taken to behave as if all behaviors are normal until a safe distance from the scene can be ensured.

Meeting your date’s family and learning about his hobbies and dining practices may be customary on a first date but it can be detrimental to a second date. Therefore, it is important to be aware of any glaring peculiarities that your date may display during the evening.

My Birthday Party

This weekend I had a birthday party. I won’t mention how many this makes because at a certain point, you just quit keeping track.

My sister with her friends came from Seattle and all but one of my closest friends were there. The theme of the party was fondue. Everyone brought something to dip in cheese, chocolate, or oil.

There were several types of hard crusted bread along with fresh, raw vegetables and pasta for dipping in three different cheese fondues: blue cheese, Guyere with Fontina, and Swiss. Dried fruit, sponge cake, angel food cake, and plain and cocoa dusted marshmallows were for dipping in dark chocolate Amaretto or milk chocolate with chilies. Chicken, shrimp, and beef quick-cooked in garlic flavored oil rounded out the food selection, and our bellies.

We ate, played pool and laughed a lot. It was the perfect birthday party, all topped off with some snow. Yum.

Arrgh!

The noise from the excited, screaming crowd watching is so loud I can barely hear the deafening cannon blast behind me, but the sight of all the people that come to the annual Torchlight Parade is always exhilarating. Through my distressed costume I can feel the chilly breeze. The pirate in me doesn’t care because the slight air movement carries toxic-smelling smoke to unsuspecting parade participants. There is a smoke bomb in a small can tied at my hip, the acrid sulfur smell wafts around me, assaulting my senses and of those around me. The enveloping, yellow cloud of smoke is almost blinding and I nearly gag from the sickening taste. As the hot smoke burns my nose and eyes, realization hits that the heat I feel coming from the small can at my hip is also burning my costume. The smoke bomb is on fire! Running into the local fire station, I yell for help. After staring at me for a second, the firemen burst out laughing. Apparently they don't know it’s not just another joke by one of the crazy Pirates. Complaining about “useless firemen”, I seek help elsewhere. Relief comes at the landing craft as a brother pirate pours ice water into my burning can and all over me. It is a bone chilling ice bath, but that's okay, because at least I’m not on fire anymore.